I wanna passion pit in your ass
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
