when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just want nice things and good sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
