is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
