i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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