He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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