Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
