a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
