I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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