Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
