I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
