oh god the rape fog is back!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
