Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
