im drinking this country out of the recession.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
