Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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