it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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