But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
