so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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