I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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