her vagine was all disorganized.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
