I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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