I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
