my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
