Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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