addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
