you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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