...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
