Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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