I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
