who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
