Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
