Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
