i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize