Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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