He kissed a someone with a penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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