Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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