I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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