Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
