is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
