I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
