i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize