The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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