Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
