I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
