some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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