What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
