The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
