Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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