I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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