with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize