um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
