I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
