Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
