your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize