isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
