My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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