Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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