hell yes lets make some ravioli
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize