how can u be prego again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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