I just made out with a guy for $7.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize