i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
