hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
