Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
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I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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