Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
