her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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