Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
